So it’s no surprise that I look forward to these little Friday morning taco runs. Hopping on the bike, and flying South on the causeway with the sun coming up over my left shoulder helps me to rise above all of the tedium that I’m neck deep in lately. And then there’s the taco at the end of the ride. Today that taco is inside El Mexicano, and was recommended by Sonny – my wife’s primo. I hadn’t eaten here before, and I rarely find myself on this side of Leopard. I had noticed the top notch hand painted signage before, however, and when I pulled up I felt like I’d been there a hundred times.

The hat was already there, and he’s got problems of his own. He’ll be coordinating multiple contractors this week too: electrical and carpentry. As Fritz Kunkel said, ‘to be mature means to face, and not evade, every fresh crisis that comes.’ and the crisis ahead of me was the choice of which taco to try first; chorizo & egg or carne guisada. This is the kind of crisis I can sink my teeth into.

The carne guisada looked like a typical ‘UT’ burnt orange stew, heavy on the cumino but there was something else to it. I was very tender, and good quality beef. The chunks were big, and the sauce, though sultry, was upbeat and sharp. With some of the pureed salsa verde it was a serious taco.  On to the chorizo & egg; a visual inspection revealed an optimal level of segregation of the c and the e (you’ve got to keep em separated). One bite and my suspicion was confirmed, this one was tip top. The two flavors wait to mingle until they’re in your mouth, along with the salsa and tortilla. The tortillas themselves were also impressive, fresh but thin and uniform.  You could see some corners of flour coating but for the most part you’d have a hard time distinguishing them from shelf tortillas unless you felt or tasted them, and then there would be no mistake. And there was something else about this taco – a hint of sweetness and spice – like cinnamon, so slight as to nearly be undistinguishable. I don’t know if it was in the chorizo, or if it was added in-situ, but I liked it.

So, on leaving, I felt ready to deal with the challenges laid out before me as I rode down Leopard, toward downtown, directly into the sun, dodging hookers and bums as they shuffle out into oncoming traffic. I love this town.

From the Hat

This morning, the Taco Show Host and I were to meet at Taqueria Mexicana for our usual Friday repast.  I was a little frazzled because I couldn’t find my iPhone.  Since the message from the Impossible Missions Headquarters was on my phone, I drove down Leopard hoping my memory of the location was correct.  So preoccupied with my missing appendage I was that I failed to even notice if the working girls were at it on the infamous street.  My memory was correct and I did find the place and settled in to wait for TSH.  While I waited I had a couple of fair cups of coffee and didn’t play scrabble, or check my email, or get a quick Facebook fix.

The place was clean and smelled of breakfast.  I figured the place was going to be good because it looked as though the most effective measurement of customers was by the ton.  (The Hat included.)  I heard the red Honda before I saw it and we had ordered before Ian even sat down.  I had two tacos, a nopalitos con huevos (not a la Mexicana this time) on flour and a lengua con cilantro y cebollas on corn.  When they arrived, right away I knew I should’ve ordered the carne G.  I found myself eyeballing my friend’s plate and hoping that he would have to leave for any reason and I could abscond with a bit of his taco. He was on to me so my order would have to do.  The lengua was tender, but grey and tasteless.  The cilantro, however, tasted as if they had picked it fresh moments before so between it, the onions, some salt and pepper, and a hot and spicy green salsa, it was okay.  I did enjoy the corn tortilla.  Warm, corny, with a bit of tooth to it, it was good.  The nopalitos and egg taco was pretty good.  It was stuffed with eggs and cactus.  I’ve kind of been on a quest for understanding of this particular menu item.  I’m usually not really sure if I’m eating pickled cactus, or freshly prepared nopales, but this morning for sure they were pickled.  This is not necessarily a bad thing as I could still get a strong note of cactus in the dish.  This taco is becoming one of my favorites and in the world of tacos, it’s seems to be a fairly healthy offering.  This was a good example, not great, just good.  Still, San Luis rules on the nopales taco.  There’s been some talk of running through some of the favorite taquerias to recalibrate our metrics.  I’m all for it.  (Like I need a reason to go to San Luis.)

Some of you will notice (cheering from some, boos from others) a distinct lack of levity in today’s taco text.  Recently a skydiver was killed on a dive in Port Aransas.  Shelly and I and a couple of friends had just jumped with him the week before and had the time of our lives.  Shell is still flyin’ high.  He was a talented videographer that enjoyed his work filming terrified jumpers – putting together a record of the event that the overwhelmed brain just can’t manage.  The divers are a close-knit group that will be saddened at the loss for a long time.  To them, our prayers.

Salud

At once I saw a sign for the chow stand, hand-painted on wood, a real beauty. My backup, ‘the Hat,’ had showed up ahead of me and they served him up in short order.  In minutes they had my vittles out as well.  A tall cup of drip coffee and two tacos.  I’d asked for a chorizo & egg, and a carne guisada.  The guisada was pretty tasty with a strong flavor and plenty of cumino. It was big too, and I knew my horse would need some rest after my trip back North. When I got to the chorizo & egg I discovered it had been replaced with an entirely different taco – bait and switch, a tactic those carpetbaggers at Demon Pass might try in the upcoming battle. What I had still looked pretty good, though, and I’m not one to argue with fate, in which case the arguer tends to lose, and I started to eat into what turned out to be a breakfast sausage, egg, cheese & potato taco.  Both tacos were big, and we ate them on the wooden picnic tables set up in the only place there was to eat – an outside covered patio.  The amber lamp of the sun colored everything we were eating with a dusty light, and the wind blew so hard we had to hold down our coffee to keep it from spilling.

The tortillas were handmade, and had blackened patches from the plaqa that were just on the right side of overdone.  There was salsa but it wasn’t much to speak of.  Neither of us talked about the upcoming battle, it was going to happen one way or the other, no matter what we thought.  Maybe it’d be better in the long run, but then again maybe it’d just be another lie the government told us so it could go on doing whatever it wants to do – which seems to be working in cahoots with fatcats and tycoons who build their empires on the broken backs of the people they screwed to pay for it. Once they get a taste for that money you can’t cure’m, and if you let them run free they’ll infect the rest of the herd.  If you ask me we’d be better off if we rounded them all up and stampeded them off the edge of Flour Bluff.

So next time you’re out on the trail, and you see someone on an Texas-sized red and white horse with a little bag of tacos, come on up and set a spell.  That is unless you’re campaigning, then you might as well head on over to Demon Pass.

From The Hat

Good Morning Tacotopia!  Hope Spring Break has been good to you.  If you’re not getting a break, then I hope you’re enjoying the weather.  Thanks to all of you who have left a mark on Tacotopia.net, the Facebook Fan Page, or on the Caller Times Website.  Special thanks to those who left a raspberry on the NYT site regarding the recent “Best Taco in Texas” brouhaha.  It’s been good to wallow in the much-deserved buzz but it should be noted that no amount of celebrity will keep us from our mission.  That mission had us up dark and early this morning for a trip to the hinterlands – Flour Bluff.

Flour Bluff is hardly the place it used to be.  Historically the butt jokes, usually about shrimpers or missing teeth; The Bluff has seen a renaissance in the last decade or so.  Poised on prime property between the Sparkling City and the Island, it is no wonder that the area has seen population and business growth. I know of one example where people were run out of their ratty residences so the apartments  could be renovated and re-rented to those with more robust resources (Arrrrr!).  While this was an inconvenience for my friend Dicky (Dicky Neely Blues Band), another friend benefitted from the work. I guess that’s how it goes in the world, some get work, others get worked. Dickey, a master of the harmonica still plays the Coastal Bend, contributes to local papers and maintains several blogs including one dedicated to the blues. Being in the Bluff makes me think of Dickey and how I haven’t seen him in a while. I think I’ll do something about that!

The Taco Show Host and I had agreed to meet at Taqueria Almeida #1 on Waldron Rd and I was early.  I had the paper and was looking forward to running through the local items of import, having a cup of coffee, and taking in the atmosphere. Almeida’s #1 came highly recommended by many people including noted FB taco specialist, Terry P. who maintains that they were consistently better than their in-city sister. When I arrived, I had to circle the place before I realized there was no indoor dining area, instead was a nice, clean, covered patio area and a steady stream of customers both drive-up and walk-up. There was a bit of a cold wind, and being dressed in CC formal, I decided to wait in the truck. I ordered a papas con chorizo and a nopalitos and egg, both on flour torts at the walk-up window just as TSH was tying up his horse. The tacos arrived quickly and turned out to be pretty good. The tortillas were fresh with a light dust of flour and both tacos were stuffed to capacity with the goods. The chorizo con papas was flavorful with the vinegary taste that I like. The potatoes were soft, but not over-cooked – a fine offering. The nopalitos taco was served a la Mexicana and had plenty of cactus. The mix needed salt, but other than that, it was also a good offering and will satisfy the cactus jones. I give Taqueria Almeida a thumbs-up.

Salud

And while I respect any work that nurtures multiculturalism, this is so wrong. The column doesn’t claim Austin is ‘the best place for breakfast tacos that aren’t made by the people who invented them and know how to best make them,’ it says “when it comes to breakfast tacos, Austin trumps all other American cities.” Like a copy machine (or a clone, or a foreign film) the 2nd generation is never quite as good as the original. Look at the Storm Troopers – they’re taken right from Jango Fett’s DNA but he’s a bad-ass and every one of those storm troopers is a half-wit.  I’m one of the only people on earth who liked Gus Van Saint’s remake of Psycho, but it’s not as good as the Hitchcock version.  Can you think of any cigarrette lighter better than a Zippo? This unqualified affront to the great tradition of breakfast tacos must not stand, and like the Gracy family at the birth of the UFC I challenge any city to come here and put up or shut up. Just bring some kleenex and a some cardboard boxes, so you can pack up your broken dreams and wipe the tears from your eyes as you return home defeated to face the shame and humiliation of your ineptitude and the cold comfort of your inferior breakfast.

Imitation and re-imagination is fraught with pitfalls. Robot maker Masahiro Mori (I can’t pass up any opportunity to use the word robot) coined the phrase ‘Uncanny Valley’ to describe our reaction of revulsion to artificial humans that we find close enough to look more like a human than a robot, but at the same time seem inhuman and disturbing. There has been a lot of discussion of the Uncanny Valley regarding CGI as the technology sits at the edge of this valley peering in. What does this have to do with tacos, you ask? This morning we ate tacos at Kiko’s, a local taco purveyor and winner of the Caller Times‘ Best of the Best award for breakfast tacos. One need only to look at our national election system, or the academy awards to appreciate how easy it is for the unscrupulous to manipulate a poll. Kiko’s is an attractive and sprawling restaurant located a stone’s throw from Corpus’ main commercial thoroughfare S.P.I.D. (South Padre Island Drive). It’s central location is nearly perfect – close enough to the highway to pickup all the shopping traffic and far enough back that you can eat there and still feel like you’re in a neighborhood. It has a faux patina that is at once charming and artificial. I get the same two tacos every Friday, the carne guisada and the chorizo & egg. Their chorizo & egg taquito was pretty good, far short of such greats as Marroquin’s but still pretty tasty.  The tortillas were just good enough to qualify as fresh, but not much better than off the shelf. The salsa, too, was fresh and hot but not great and somehow lacking anything to distinguish itself. Then there was the coffee: as the Hat said to me something was not quite right about it.  Like a Stepford Wife it was satisfactory but a little creepy. All of these things fell into the Uncanny Valley, and tasted a few degrees off true. Let me throw another movie simile at this description, Dr. Seth Brundle in the Cronenberg remake of The Fly when he teleported the steak and then tasted it…