(361) 442-2618 • 3310 S Port Ave • Corpus Christi, TX 78415

Summer cut in line in front of spring this year, and the wind and rain are scrambling to keep up. It’s an election year, so there are a lot of issues in the news that you won’t hear about for another four years. Right now, the issue of gay marriage is stealing the spotlight – just as any self-respecting diva would. North Carolina, where some of my family lives, just outlawed gay marriage – with conservatives fighting back against a perceived war on marriage. This from a political viewpoint whose shining lights are all divorced, adulterous, and or closeted. Okay, not all of them – but the hypocrisy hangs around the people fighting this battle like a cheap suit. It doesn’t fit, it looks ridiculous, and it won’t last through the season.

Finely blended salsa

Both sides of the political fence are playing politics with this issue right now, but one side is clearly right, and one side is clearly wrong. ‘But Leviticus 18:22’ you say? ‘ If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.’ Really? I’m going to steal an argument from Dan Savage, who helped redefine the name Santorum: If Leviticus 18:22 is so important that you have to deny people equal treatment, why do you not adhere so to the rest of the rules laid out in the bible, instead of picking just the ones that agree with your particular prejudices and peccadilloes. A lot of laws laid out in the bible are pretty insane, if you care to look at it rationally. Blind people can’t go to church, or people with flat noses, or the lame (Leviticus 21:17-18). If you lose a testicle to cancer, you can’t go to church (Deuteronomy 23:1). Brats should be hit with rocks (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). According to Leviticus 19:19, American Apparel is evil because they make 50/50 poly/cotton shirts.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the bible is bad, or even that it isn’t divinely inspired. Just that people with an agenda shouldn’t use it inconsitently to justify their agenda. If you hate fags, you’re entitled to be that kind of asshole. This is the U S of A! We fight to defend your right to be a jerk if you want. It doesn’t mean you’re not a jerk, and you should not delude yourself into believing you have a moral leg to stand on.

The parts of the bible with which I can’t abide, though, are the rules about food. I like pork, but Leviticus 11:7-8 says it’s not kosher. God wouldn’t have made bacon if we weren’t supposed to eat it. And shellfish? Leviticus 11:10 says it’s detestable. I think Leviticus was selfish to deny us shellfish. Maybe I’m going to hell because I like chicharrones, but I like to think I’m going to heaven, and that they will have tacos & gay marriages, and maybe even some Slayer to listen to. If not, it’ll probably be wherever I’m headed.

On Port there’s a new taqueria, where the old Guadalajara was. They’ve completely remodeled, even going so far as to pour new concrete in the drive-thru. The service is good, and the food is really good. The salsa isn’t watery, and the tortillas are fresh. Their nopalito & egg taco is heavenly, and their carne guisada is rich and meaty. Thank God for good food.

The Taco Award Winner will return with the next installment, when we’re not talking about God.

4701 Ayers, Suite 101, Corpus Christi, Texas • 361-814-8859
Chorizo & Egg $1.40 • Carne Guisada $2.15 • Coffee $1.35

Tax day is approaching, and though Summer technically begins June 20th, there were triple digit temperatures in Ctown yesterday, and steam is hanging in the air. It’s the time of year when we realize our AC needs to be fixed. Where the left side of the lawn needs mowed before you’ve finished with the right side. And while summer here lasts for about 7 months, good tacos are non seasonal – we’ve got’em year ’round.

Mi Meza recently planted itself in the space formerly occupied by Hu-Dat on Crosstown. The heavily (and well) tattooed lady behind the counter said they had relocated here from a spot on McArdle with a different name, and that they needed more space. Well, more space they’ve got. The inside is big and pretty tidy. The service was good, and the clientelle polite. I ordered a carne guisada and a chorizo & egg. The quality of the food was about on-par with what we’ve come to expect in Tacotopia. The beef in the carne guisada was tender, and the gravy rich – though it was more a black pepper beef stew than a homemade cumino sauce. The chorizo & egg was good, fresh and perfectly cooked. The tortillas were fresh and hot, especially when unwrapped from their foil packages. It was a modest but earnest meal, as you would expect from a restaurant just finding it’s legs. With the location of the restaurant I expect they’ll do well.

Our free taco winner for this week is:

Kelli Garner

This blonde-haired, green-eyed California girl was born in Bakersfield. With her quirky overbite, cupid-bow lips and stunning features, Garner has… garnered a broad range of roles, from independent films (Thumbsucker) to respected biopics (the Aviator) to calculated corporate network tv series (Pan Am). Whether she’s on stage, on tv, in the movie theater, or in music videos, you can count on her stealing the show.

Offer includes 2 tacos, an audience with the ‘tacoteurs,’ and a free tacotopia t-shirt. Please redeem this offer at Whetstone Graphics on a Friday morning of your choice. Offer subject to cancellation by order of the wives of the tacoteurs.  Enter to win by emailing your name in on a copy of Normal Adolescent Behavior to tacos@tacotopia.net.

TacoShowHost's family at the undisclosed location/taco bunker.

There is little better than a taco fresh from the cocina, with steam coming out of a fresh tortilla. If there is a heaven, it will have fresh tacos. Sometimes, though, it’s just not convenient to herd a crew into a taqueria. They can be crowded, sometimes less than squeaky-clean, and occasionally intimidating to people who aren’t locals. Maybe you want to have breakfast ready for your family when they wake up so they can eat a taco in their payamas. Maybe you want to spike your coffee, and don’t want to carry an open container with you to work. These are all times when the ubiquitous drive-through becomes invaluable.

Many people in Tacotopia don’t have the luxury of time to sit down to breakfast. This is one of the reasons Stripes’ Laredo Taco Company does so well; you can get in and out while someone else on your crew fills the work truck with diesel, and when you show up at the job site, you’re the hero for the rest of the day. Nothing makes a roughneck smile like a hot juicy taco. This is the genius of the taco as a food: it is one of the most portable foods known to man. You might spill some juice on you but you can eat on the road, in a kayak, on a tractor, on a jetty, or anywhere else you feel the need for breakfast. Try that with a salad.

My parents are visiting me. They’re actually renovating a new wing of the taco bunker so they’ll have somewhere to stay when they make their annual 1500 mile taco run. There were hairy construction workers and a gaggle of tiny dogs that hadn’t yet worked out the pecking order at my house this morning. I had tacos to eat, but I needed to be home. I pointed my trusty dodge across the causeway and drove through Bandas.

Before you knew it, my family and I were eating great tacos, right at our table, and with my wife’s superior homemade salsa. Everyone got their fill, and the cleanup was a breeze.

Our taco award winner for this week is:

Melissa McCarthy

Chicago area native Melissa McCarthy is a big girl. She’s also hot. We live in a fractured culture where it’s difficult for many to have both of these ideas in their head at the same time. Tune into Bravo (which should be renamed the Real Housewives channel) any night of the week, and you’ll see a series of trainwrecks who are doing everything they can to be skinny while making certain parts of themselves fat. None of their boobs are small, or real, and their lips are unnaturally puffy. This schizophrenic quest has landed some of them in the loony bin, and made it impossible for most of them to even make simple facial expressions. The problem is so widespread in the entertainment industry that directing styles are having to adapt, focusing on script and editing to make up for the inability of many leading ladies to emote. Fabienne in Pulp Fiction put it best in saying “It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.” Melissa McCarthy, though, is pleasing to the eye. She’s all natural, and all beautiful. It helps that she was born with a  great face, (Jenny McCarthy is her 1st cousin) but there’s more to her attractiveness than that. She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s often cast as the overweight wallflower with the heart of gold, and this works because she does have an accessible quality, like you could call her late at night if you were in crisis and she wouldn’t hang up on you. She hasn’t returned any of my calls, but I still love her. Let’s hope she lifts that restraining order so I can buy her a taco.

Offer includes 2 tacos, an audience with the ‘tacoteurs,’ and a free tacotopia t-shirt. Please redeem this offer at Whetstone Graphics on a Friday morning of your choice. Offer subject to cancellation by order of the wives of the tacoteurs.  Enter to win by emailing your name in on a dvd of GO to tacos@tacotopia.net.